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Many women have a real, visceral fear of the men they might meet online.They worry these sites are chock full of killers, creeps and cads.Believe me, it's better that you don't find him, because the kind of men you're likely to meet in that kind of situation are not the kind of men who will usually turn out to be the love of your life.

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Once you admit that there's nothing wrong with actively looking for a man, you'll realize that online dating is the most sensible, time-efficient way to find him.

Rather than choosing from the five to 10 single men who happen to stumble into the bar that night, you'll have instant access to hundreds of prospects, with lengthy and detailed profiles describing their background, interests, personality and even sometimes their salary. Could be, but don't you think the guy on the next bar stool can lie just as easily? We may not hear an actual voice until we're already knee-deep in pheromones.

Some of them are too busy with jobs or hobbies to go trolling for dates in bars. Some are divorced and have kids to take to soccer practice or help with their homework. Are you convinced that all the nicest guys are vegan?

Do you want to find someone who loves Dickens or Didion? One of my girlfriends met her Harvard-educated urologist husband at a Benny's Burrito.

So I decided to do some asking around to find out why so many of us women are afraid to say yes to online dating.