"They choose partners of the same level of health," she said. He wants his family to look right, but he doesn't know how to become involved in it.
There is no emotional bonding."Middle children take on either the role of scapegoat or lost child, she said: "The scapegoat gets into trouble to make himself the focus of attention.
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As an adult, he jumps in and out of relationships and goes through a number of divorces."The lost child never feels like a part of the family.
Growing up in a family where there is parental addiction shapes how we learn to live in intimate relationships.
You bring home a picture you drew in school, and Mommy rips it up because she's drunk.
So you learn to test the waters, to stifle your emotions, to avoid allowing yourself to be vulnerable."Many times adult children of alcoholics seek out the "exciting," roller-coaster relationships that they had with their parents--and that their parents had with one another.
"My boyfriends have always been 'emotionally unavailable,' to use my therapist's term," the 28-year-old Anaheim art instructor said."They're handsome, exciting and undependable.