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Three sentences are all you need to write in a first message.

We have combined our own research with a 2009 Ok Trends study to develop comprehensive advice for sending your first message.

In the study, Ok Cupid analyzed 500,000 first messages on their website to determine which ones had the best response rates. First and foremost we would like to stress the importance of proper spelling and grammar.

The format is simple: Here are a few examples: Though the message is short, it creates a commonality and allows for a dialogue to easily start.

Of course, finding your own tone and voice will definitely help too.

Here’s the deal with the messaging thing, a lot of people have their own theories on how it works, what works best, etc. Others try pick-up-artist “negging.” Some send ridiculously long messages about their background and their overall philosophy and what they’re currently doing with their lives.